she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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