She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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