WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
