Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
