is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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