Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize