i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
