My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize