i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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