that's an acceptable place to lick
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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