This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
