margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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