I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
