That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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