I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
