Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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