unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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