She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
