I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's official drugs can't kill me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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