took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
