Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
