what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
