Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize