What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
