so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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