Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
