I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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