To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
