in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
