it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
