I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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