he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
