so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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