Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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