I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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