i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
