So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
