apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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