Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
