i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
