if i died would you start the facebook group?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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