You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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