So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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