we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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