I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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