so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
