ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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