in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
