I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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