My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize