Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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