If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
