I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
