party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
