meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize