I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
