just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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